34 weeks

I am so overjoyed that today I am 34 weeks, your Daddy and I are going to celebrate by going out to dinner. I have not been out to dinner since November trying to keep you cooking so that you can be healthy! On Tuesday they will be taking out my cerclage and then we will just wait and see when you will make your arrival. I was reading on my weekly updates and 34 weeks is another magical mark along this journey of what we have branded you as Kayla Grace. There are so many people praying for your safe arrival, there are so many people that already love you even though you have not met them yet. I am allowed to do modified bed rest now, but I still want to protect you and make sure you will be okay, I would walk a mile under fire to make sure you are okay; somehow I don't think that my incestuous worrying will stop when you are finally out. As I lay here right now, I am so thankful I was able to help your Daddy put together your room yesterday even if I was sitting down the entire time, but most of all I wonder what you are going to look like. Will you have my cheeks, my eyes, my lips? Will you have your Daddy's curly hair, his beautiful smile? What will your personality be like? Both your Dad and I are fun people in general but our motto in life has always been we work hard so we can play even harder. Whatever you look like you will be ours and you will be perfect, after all you are a Peay!

My Revelation

As a mother to be I find it funny how I will walk through fire, fight with doctors, and do my damnest to defy all odds when given a grim fate, but when it comes to my future I let someone tell me no and think twice.....The Mama within is going to be coming out in all aspects of my life and she is a force to be reckoned... with.....Kayla Grace has already become my hero and my inspiration.....

I am so filled with such emotion when I think of how much you have changed my life and I haven't met you, but I know you, I love you. I was talking to your Daddy the other day and he grew a little sad and I asked him why, he said honey I have seen you fight with doctors, calling them crying, and you not moving for months at a time to protect our child, I am afraid what would have happened if you didn't do all that. I looked back at him and said we are fighters, and we are Peay's, and we will know how to survive even when they try to pull us down.

32 weeks.....

Right now I am 32 weeks pregnant and cannot believe we have made it this far. I know I believe in miracles, but I never thought that I would be having one. 2 weeks ago I was released from the hospital and returned home, Daddy and I were so excited and scared all at the same time, we missed being able to listen to your heartbeat a couple of times a day, but we loved the idea of something normal like our beautiful home. When I left the hospital it was quite a day, my Alcatraz partner had her twins and she was being released the same time, so we bascially came in together and left together. Our nurses were all upset and happy to see us leave, her twins were born scheduled c section at 32 weeks and they were happy that I was still holding up. Before I left I wrote three letters, one to Krissy to thank her for helping me through a rough time and glad we were able to connect and that we shared a bond that no one could understand; one to the nurses because they were amazing and helped me through some dark days and gave me a reason to laugh when I needed it; lastly I wrote a letter to the next person in 383 because I think the room has magic powers and the last couple of women that had been in that room were all under dire circumstances and we all made it out safely even though the odds were against us.
I went to visit the doctors for my 32 week visit and the specialist Dr.Troyer said I am glad to see you, I checked your file to see if you delivered while I was gone, she was happy and amazed that I was still hanging on. My OB Dr. Roberts has changed her tune and happy when she sees me because she knows we can have a healthy baby. There game plan is to get me to 34 weeks and take out the stitch and bed rest will be lifted. I am so excited to be free and really hope I can stay pregnant for another 5 weeks. Here is to hoping that we make it to full term or at least 34 weeks.