Hospital Bedrest

Hospital bed rest and bed rest in general has been one of the hardest things I have ever done in life. It has been the loneliest and scariest thing I could have imagined. Most people think laying in bed and watching television is like a dream vacation, but this has been far from that. When I came here at 22 weeks, they had given up hope, and didn't give us much change. Then we went to 24 weeks and still thought there was a small change, then we moved to 26 and then finally to 28 and as I type am hitting the 29 week mark. There have been so many prayers and tears that have filled these four walls, and somehow strength that has come truly from God, and an amazing amount of people that I will never be able to repay or even know for all their thoughts and prayers they have prayed for us as a family. The doctors and specialist have come in one by one and said that it is a miracle that I am still pregnant, and I know it has been through the grace of God. They have told me " the next time" but I want this time. I want this family, the three of us. Your in my plan and my own selfish love, I am so in love with a person that I cannot see but only feel. I know your heartbeat, I know your strength, you are apart of me, and I will always carry your heart in my heart, as I carry your Father's.